• Aimee Serene

Musing about Meditation

There are life altering changes happening in the world at large and in my microcosm of existence. With so much vying for my attention, the last thing I have felt like doing is taking time for meditation. Regardless, I promised myself that I would find the moments that inspire me to meditate and take them. Today I was inspired by a song that strummed my heart and called me outside to face the setting sun as I reminisced about the red tailed hawk I saw this morning circling overhead.

I began musing about meditation and my experience of being on a quest for the path of least resistance.

The thought is like my shadow. Always there, attached to the last step I took, and the last time I was Here. This moment becomes fuel for it's feast, with which to wind a wild tale, armed with a palette of possibilities collected from every source I ever touched with any of my senses. Tempting me with a thousand turns toward tangents telling me the outcomes of the imaginary futures it manifested in my mind.

Suddenly I realize I am far from where I began, wondering when I made that first fateful turn off the path of the present and into the moments of before and after. As I backtrack through the trails of synapses and silent breadcrumbs, I begin to find my way back Here. The sudden awareness that I was not where I thought I was clicks and I backtrack through the thoughts that took me - and for a moment I are Here.

Then it begins again, and off I go chasing a thought that never tires; somehow drawing power and energy from a source I cannot tap into as I tire in my pursuit. The turns are too many; I can't remember where I began and when I stopped caring. I begin to sink into the story and enjoy the entertainment, watching an improvisation of my very own creation. Only it's not me. Only it is.

This is where I begin.

In the tireless pursuit of releasing temptation to chase false story fabrications.

As I begin to notice a never ending reel of high budget thoughts that take all my energy to try and stop, they become stronger as I am drawn to their bait. They learn what hooks me and modify them next time - improving the algorithm of what catches my attention. Thoughts are things, they take up space, energy and time. The more space, energy and time they take up, the less space, energy and time I spend Here.

Meditation brings me Here by learning to lessen the length of time spent in the past and imaginary future. As I become aware of the thoughts - coming back Here more quickly becomes easier and requires less space, energy and time. The next consideration is not distance, but the duration of the incessant simulations.

The fuel I need to stay Here is found in the care of the self on all levels.

The stronger I am, the longer I can practice.

Strength used for fighting with the mind will end in exhaustion.

There is only my concept of time, it is a marathon not a sprint.

Then, I accept the possibly that it will never end - and let go.

I look forward to the next call to stillness amidst all that is swirling as I become wrapped in the moment right Here for as long as I can stay... and practice.

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